Matt talks surrogacy
I’m a partner in our Corporate & Multinational Tax practice and joined Grant Thornton as a director in 2018. Before joining the firm I had spent all of my career in some of the larger professional services firms. I can’t imagine being anywhere else now, I’m in my third year as a partner and am constantly developing and being challenged in my role.
My husband and I began looking at options for expanding our family a few years back and determined surrogacy as the ideal route for us. As surrogacy has outdated legal provisions and is fraught with difficulty in the UK, we enlisted help from agencies in Canada. Canada has a more robust legal framework for surrogate pregnancies and well-established agencies to help manage all elements of the process.
It’s a lengthy and time-consuming pursuit, involving multiple lawyers, insurance providers, fertility doctors, agencies and support for egg donors and surrogates. We were matched with our wonderful surrogate, Amanda, in April 2023 and were very lucky to be successful with our first attempt at an embryo transfer in September. Atlas Stringer arrived safely at Vancouver Hospital in May 2024.
Having children as a same-sex couple is complicated. You find yourself explaining your situation in every conversation and dealing with prejudice and misunderstanding along the way. Support for us was so important and we used multiple channels to keep us grounded and sane through this busy year – be that family, friends, our agencies and counsellors.
It helped that we built a great friendship with our surrogate and chatted through any complication together with regular FaceTime and WhatsApp dates. As our baby was growing 5,000 miles away, there were times we felt detached from the pregnancy and needed support. It was of course all worth it to see Atlas arrive into the world and bring him home.
Our firm policies put equality and fairness at the heart of this life journey from the moment I shared our baby news with my people manager, the Partner Support Unit and others. As I’m Atlas’ primary caregiver during his first year, I’m entitled to surrogacy leave, which aligns with the maternity leave policy. I’ve been supported in planning for my leave from all avenues, and haven’t faced any challenge as a man, or a queer person, to be entitled to that leave. I’m now on my leave and won’t return to work until 2025!
Our firm puts people first and we do that through actions and not just words. I love that I can be a tax partner, husband, father, gym lover, singer – and that all of that is compatible and respected. I love my job, want to do it well, continue to progress, be challenged and live a well-rounded and happy life, drawing on all things that influence that happiness.
I want others to know that their career success and home life are never mutually exclusive. At Grant Thornton you are part of a firm that will support parents and their competing priorities, regardless of gender. I hope that queer people specifically are encouraged – whether children are in their present or future, or not – that their diversity is cherished and that we’ll continue to showcase stories of people doing it differently (and in style!).